My 11th year old ... my first born... my sweet darling girl. She had come a long way. When she was a baby, people called her difficult & demanding. She only liked me & her dad, that's all. Nobody could hold her more than 2 minutes without her screaming & wailing. She was sentisive to noise, heat, smell & really bright light. Visiting became a torture for us, simply because she was never happy in strange places.
As she grew older, she got better. I never pushed her. I tried to understand her, I only wanted her to be herself, to know her limits and to master them. Yung & I taught her to understand her feelings, to communicate them and to avoid things that could over-stimulate her. She was still clingy, but she was ready to trust other people.
She soon warmed up to the family and they rewarded her greatly. She loved her older cousins and her aunties. She was a bright child and she was so much fun to be with. She could talk, count, sing and dance very well. She was a delight to be around. When she was happy, she let the world knew. When she was sad, she couldn't understand why the sky didn't turn grey and the rain started pouring. She was passionate about things and she would give you regular updates. "I love yellow today... I wanted all my clothes to be yellow, undies & socks too, ok?" :) I told you, she was fun!
Then she started kinder. It was a nightmare, too much new things. She had to learn again. What to do, what to say, how to communicate, etc. I was there the whole year she first started kinder. To me, it was never a punishment. I enjoyed it too. They needed the help and I loved living in her little world for a few hours a week. Kinder was fun. We painted, we sang & danced, we read books, we baked, we played. Other kids loved me too. We had so much fun together so the 2nd year, she was happy to go on her own. By then, she wanted a brother or sister.
Riley was born when she was 5. She was never jealous. She loved him from the moment he was born, down to his wrinkled toes. She stayed with us at the hospital. She was happy to be a part of it all. Oh, yeah... she complaint of course. "Riley is smelly, Riley sleeps all the time, Riley cry a lot, etc etc..." but she loved him just the same. She wanted to sleep with him and they have shared a room since then till now.
Now she is 11. She is almost as tall as me. She eats as much or sometimes more than me. She is still heaps of fun, still sensitive, still loves her brother and still likes to form attachments to somethings or someone. She is passionate about dancing and you can find her twirling around the house when she is happy. She is sensitive to movement & rhythm, and she loves ballet. She received a perfect 100% on her latest Ballet Exams. She was entitled to dance off at the Coral Brown Memorial prize for the best Gd. 4 ballet students in the state.
Photos from Choreographic Competition - She and her other 2 friends danced their own choregraphed jazz routine.
She loves performing and she is passionate at it too. She loves the concerts, the comps, and all the performances where she can dance and sing. She is confident enough to represent her school at Trivia Challenges and just recently at the Wakakiri heat.
Photos from Wakakiri dress rehearsal at school.
At Wakakiri, after the performance, the judges questioned her. They asked her about the song they sang. She helped compose the song they sang for the performance. She also told them that she sometimes wrote songs with her cousin. They then put her on the spot. They asked her to sing. And she did! She sang the chorus of one of the song she wrote. They were amazed. Everyone was amazed. We were very proud. I was very proud. I always know that she is amazing. It is nice to know that other people think she is too.
Yung & I believe that it was our duty as parents to find ways for our children to belong. They never asked to be born, instead we brought them into this world. So, we are responsible for them, for everything they do or not. It is hard work, but it is very rewarding. Sometimes you are lucky to get a mild tempered child, sometimes you end up with a spirited one. But like everything in life, the harder the challenge, the better you work, and the more rewarding the result.
We decided a long time ago that living with children is not about winning a battle. It is about finding a common ground, creating a comfortable place to live for everyone. Hey, they live here too... so they have as much right as us adults. So sometimes we adjust, sometimes they adjust. If they can't negotiate yet, just accept it. Teach them gently, be patient with them, and if they can't get it now... there is always another day. Treat them with respect first then expect them to treat you likewise. It's about give and take, with love & patient.
So now, 12 years and 2 children later, this philosophy is what rules our house. It is easier when the kids know how to communicate. It is even better now that they understand the concept of emphaty & negotiation. But this came to us in the first place because we had Amanda as our first born. She started it all and we thank her for that. Oh, and we love her very much too!
Of course, we love Riley just as much.... :)